another day another 57 cent

Evening all.
I have just rediscovered Tetris. What a very helpful distraction it is. I came home hungry for some sort of mental with drawl inhibitor. Since 2010 is my year of moderation, I was unable to reach for the bottle of Syrah that awaited me in the wine cabinet. Oh it was so sexy over there, coyly peeking out onto me from the deep holes of the smooth yet rough wood cabinetry. Do not fear, I made the right choice; the choice to remain faithful to my new year's commitment of moderation. I reached down deep within the pit of my fledgling self control and pushed the dark red nectar away; back into the hole from which it crawled. I then found myself desperately alone; only accompanied by the nagging angst that followed me home from the office. Then, in a moment of divine intervention, my memory of my most recent download settled into the foreground of my consciousness. Yes, I remembered, I did download Tetris last night. I was going to find some mental exit from this trying day after all. Soon thereafter, my present self drifted off into the Tron like pastures of the L shaped blocks. All of a sudden my only concern was the frequent appearance of the 4 blocked stick shaped figure and how was I going to keep finding places to fit it in within the puzzle. Oh sweet serenity.
After my Tetris bliss had ran its course, I was left with the angst that I had tabled earlier. Today was rough at the workplace. My plight towards acceptance, rational perspective and unbiased consideration was certainly put to the test this afternoon. Well, in the flavor of perspective, I faced no moments of potential peril nor did I encounter any tragic episodes of injustice. Yet what I did face was the maddening behavior of the over reacting sales professional. I have a hard time understanding the world from the view of the sales professional. Just to keep you up to date, my day to day work environment, on occasion, mandates that I interact with the sales professional. Well, I suppose I should say they interact upon me and I take it. I am a manger of a certain operational realm that produces a product of value to a snarky and temperamental market. The sales professional is somewhat a necessary evil doer in my world. They comb the shores for clients who are willing to steer business our way. Then it is the job of the operational humans to take the business, produce a quality product and get the Clients to send us more. Sounds simple enough. However, as in all industries, we are not sufficiently staffed nor do we deal with a market that has any ounce of empathy or perspective. You see, the not so funny funny thing is that our clients are sales people too; sellers of a different product but sales people none the less. So, to summarize; we have sales people who go out into the world and try to persuade a different type of sales person to use our product. In the middle of this cyclone of double talk, false promises and unrealistic expectations resides the operational folk; the people that with sweat and good will make the magic happen. I can see where this is going, can't you? I certainly can see a protagonist and antagonist developing. Anyhow, I digress. On with the retelling of my day. So, said sales person walks about the universe with their false ideas about reality and imposing them on others. The operational person (of whom I am the boss) tries to do good in this world of evil. Inevitably, details get missed here and there and on occasion things get messed up. Well, in my particular sphere it is unfortunate that a mistake is a big deal due to the amount of money and the intensity of relationships that filter through our daily operational lives. However, in the end, fundamentally, a mistake is a mistake. Whether it be a 1 dollar or a million dollar mistake; its essence remains the same. It is a fuck up. No one, at least that I know of, intended for it to happen nor does it happen frequently. In this case , today , Jan 19Th, 2010, it kind of sort of just happened. If one is looking for an actual answer, then one could point to many obvious realities; the fragility of human empowered endeavors, the competition of a capitalistic for profit work culture, the strife and struggles of small business vs big business, and much much more. In this case, someone simply forgot to check a box in a field in the computer system that is designed to remind us to do things and of which we are completely and totally over reliant upon. So, then the person whose job it is to over see the first box checker missed the box as well. Then the person who is the final eyes to make the second over seer made sure the first box checker checked the box in the system so that we are reminded to do something in a computer at a certain time on a certain day missed it too. So when that certain time on that certain day arrived and that certain thing did not happen because that certain box was not checked it was not good. An ensuing fuck up occurred which resulted in the temporary loss of a few hundred thousand dollars. I can see where on the surface it sounds pretty outlandish. Talk like "it is your job to check the box" and " you get paid to manage the details" starts flying to and fro within the work place. The end client gets mad because their customer who was expecting the certain something to happen and it did not happen is mad and blames it on the client for choosing such an establishment to handle the transaction. The client then calls the sales professional and says things like " you assured me great, perfect and unforgettable service. Now, my actual world is crumbling before me due to some error by the hands of your people. While fingers are being pointed and lives threatened, the operational person who did not check the box knows damn well now what they did wrong has found the lost money because it was really never actually lost just misplaced. Said operations person has successfully placed previously missing now misplaced money back into the place it should have been in the first place. So, problem solved. Operational person calls client and customer and proceeds to apologize with actual tears and feelings of unworthiness. Customer and client happy with remedy. It was about 60-90 minutes of pressure and potential disaster that simply dissipated into the air by the end of the day. However, problem not solved for the sales professional; problem just started. Now, sale professional starts discussion diagrams centered around questions like " how could this happen and who is to blame." The answers to which, as discussed previously, are long and involved and include a hour long discussion of the state of capitalism in America and the dramatic consequences of checking a box. The sales professional, to say the least, does not get it and prefers to pontificate a bit more on the implausibility and unbelievability of such errors. I, as the representative of the operational folk, settle into my chair and try to channel my new year friends called perspective and consideration. Getting to know them has been rough thus far. However, I do have hope that we will get on good and make a year of it. Only time will tell.
Thanks for your time.
Diana

First Entry

Evening Folks.
I hope you find my blog layout acceptable. I would like to think that I am the type of person who turns away the website provided templates. I am not. I have a rough time picking a font color other than white or black. They simply make perfect sense as font colors. I went with the factory standard layout. It just made sense as well. I would like to think that my skills in the writing world are a bit more worthwhile than my graphic abilities. I hope to one day have an audience. I am unsure how I will know if I have one or not. Why it matters, I am also unsure. I am currently fabricating an audience of thousands in my mind. That audience is probably what matters most. I am unsure of my purpose with this blog; just as I am unsure about purpose in general. Seems appropriate. I plan to step outside of my comfy confines of rewriting and editing to the point that my words never hit the fresh air of daylight. This is just about putting it out there.
To be clear. I am a grown woman. I am a mother. I struggle on a daily basis with purpose. I strive to be as authentic in my daily interactions as possible. I have a very active inner dialouge that is constantly running, running, running; picking apart my external realm with pain staking detail. I have lots of love, laughter and prosperity in my life. Yet I struggle with what it means. I suppose this blog is about trying to find some sort of meaning whilst wading through the wonder and oddness of daily existence. We shall see how it goes. Thanks for your time.
Diana.